Remember: Cats Are Basically Less Expensive Children Who Don't Get A College Education (Let's Keep It That Way, Financially)

Cat toys are expensive. Cat beds are expensive. Cat boxes are expensive. Cat weed is expensive. Boo-hoo.

But there are a few cheat codes for those of us on a budget, and for those of us who just like to be crafty.

First of all, if you've ever bought a pet bed or litter pan at Petsmart or Petco, I really hope that worked out for you. I really do. I hope the products proved sustainable and long lived. Truly. 

But for those of us who think anything above $15 might as well be featured next to the self-cleaning poop vessels and "kitty washroom cabinets" advertised in SkyMall, such purchases are a mistake.

For under $10, you can buy a Rubbermaid container from the magical world of Dollar General (and its equivalents) or a tray organizer online. Most litter liners will fit the dimensions, and if they don't, trash bags are just as useful.

If you're feeling clever and lazy, let your cat use the potty via household plants.

Pros: free fertilizer (though urine can kill some fauna), very little cleanup.

Cons: stank and a potentially hella dead garden.

"Remain calm. Owner has yet to notice." 

Now on to something less shitty. Does your cat like sleeping? Oh gee willawhiskers, I thought so! Well, there's nothing more fun than making a sweet pad for your babette. No-sew fleece blankets are simple and effective. This tutorial is great for showing how to make one, but before finishing the tie offs, try stuffing some pillow fluff in. Obviously you might want to make the thing a bit smaller, so it'd be more manageable. Fabric is pretty affordable. Jo-Ann's is having a sale, in fact, on blizzard fleece. And generally, Michael's stocks pillow stuffing. If not, then Walmart will have it for sure, and it tends to be wallet-friendly.  

Apparently, pet sofas are also doable. I mean, if you're really good at sewing, maybe. 

Can this be human sized? Please? 

Maybe this isn't common sense to people, but when you buy something at a store, you're paying for the materials used as well as the time it took to complete the creation, plus likely some sort of overhead fee. This is exactly why I can't stress enough: even if you want to buy something mass marketed, you'll still save a lot just on toys by buying catnip in bulk and doing your own projects.

I personally prefer Kong Naturals Premium Catnip because there's an option of 1 oz and 2 oz jars, and the 2 oz one usually has a free trinket inside. Depending on where you buy it from (eBay, Amazon, the company website) it's not likely going to run you more than $8. I got my 2 oz for $4.99 on Amazon about two years ago, and I still have half the jar left, even though two other felines have also had some of their own.

That's much better than paying $2.99-$4.99 for a single item that will likely not survive past a year or so without serious damage.

The reason I decided to start making things for them initially had nothing to do with money, though. Snowball, my mom's cat, is a compulsive drool when a) in a car b) exposed to catnip. Can't do much about her vehicle nausea and spastic nature there, but I thought, "Why not put a lump of this in a sock?" 

Best. Idea. Ever. 

Everyone has some unmatched, ugly sock somewhere. What better way to get rid of it and not feel wasteful? Give those lonely, single, probably secretly alcoholic because life is sad when you're all alone in the drawer foot-warmers a new purpose.

Pros: absorbs cat spit; depending on how tied it's not easy to rip.
Cons: the torture and end of one sock life. 

No, I am not the first person to do this. I just happened to have come upon the idea on my own and realize it was not very original.

As you can plainly see, it's an effective method. Some people recommend using baby socks, but I find that a tad odd. I mean, I'm not going to Babies R' Us just to get baby socks... for my cat. But some like to because it's cuter than a crew sock and some have even made pages on how to art them into looking like fake mice. I know for sure there's a Girl Scout Troop explanation of this on Spoonful.

Voila.

Which reminds me: if you've got kids, these are great little activities to do with them. Or rather, to let them mess up royally until you swoop in to fix whatever has gone awry. Suitable for scissor experts 6+ up.

Other cheap cat amusements: rubber balls from grocer bubble machines (.25 to .50 cents each), carpeted PVC piping, anything you've ever loved and desperately desired NOT to be destroyed (see cat for further info).